Going into university, I tried to emphasise the aesthetics of the beginning of the academic year, autumn and Halloween, in a desperate attempt to not become entirely overwhelmed with nerves.

In order to do this, I sought refuge the one place I knew would feel safe. Spotify. This is a look into the music/albums that have helped me through this transition.

The first album I’ve had on repeat is Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness by The Smashing Pumpkins. This band feel very autumn-oriented to me, or more so, Halloween-oriented (hence the name).

The specific song I have to mention is ‘Tonight Tonight’. It’s very nostalgic and has the most beautiful instrumentals, perfect for reflecting on and appreciating your surroundings. Although it’s a slower song, the heavy bass and drum beat help to maintain the alternative rock genre you see in other works by the Smashing Pumpkins, whilst being a melodic piece.

This album really does make walks around campus that bit more Mellon Collie. “Time is never time at all, you can never ever leave, without leaving a piece of youth.”

Another album I’ve had in my rotation is I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love by My Chemical Romance.

They’re the perfect band if the colder weather brings out your ‘edgier’ side. Or if you’re like me and just like being different.

All of the members of the band love horror films so there is a surplus of horror motifs in the music eg. vampires, dead lovers, and exchanges with the devil.

My favourite song on the album is ‘Honey, This Mirror Isn’t Big Enough For The Two Of Us’ because it solidifies the aforementioned motifs with the music video retelling Japanese horror film, Audition.

The album is perfect for giving your inner theatre kid the chance to shine, as is the rest of My Chemical Romance’s discography.

With this album in my playlist, and an unnecessary amount of eyeliner, I have no fears. Except for teenagers. “I’d end my days with you, in a hail of bullets”.

To finish, I’ve been rinsing Live Through This by Hole. Even though this album isn’t explicitly ‘autumn’, I’ve been choosing this record for its feminist angst.

Courtney Love’s writing centres itself around the position of women in the world and the injustices in our patriarchal society. As women, we’re frequently told to be complacent and obedient, but this album challenges that idea by subverting that expectation.

Love’s raw and scratchy vocals oppose the expected sweet harmonies a woman ‘should’ sing with. Her lyrics also tend to focus themselves on difficult topics such as sexual assault and violence towards women, exposing the ugly nature of them rather than shying away from the problem.

When I listen to this album, I’m asking questions and never complying with an unjust system. I feel it’s a mentality I need to carry with me at all times, and in the first weeks of university I made sure to maintain that. “You should learn how to say no”.

All in all, music gets me through things and if there’s anything I’ve learnt it’s that music really reflects where you are, and if my music taste is this good, university must be some kind of reflection of that. #hopecore

Sophia Khan

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